|DINOBOTS v. MANATEES
||[Nov. 29th, 2006|02:56 pm]
Sheila: Welcome to a special edition of 15 Minute Focus! For those of you closely following the great and unending war between the dinobots and the manatees, I'm sure you're already aware of the recent developments concerning the possible involvement of the sea lions. In case you have been living under a cave, however, here is an informative article from CNN. In summary, the sea lions have increased their attacks on humans and human resources over the past several months. There is some indication that this is caused by "toxic algae" caused by human pollutants.|
Going now to Dr. Jim Fangsworth, professor of military history at Yale and author of the article "The Other War: An Objective Analysis of the Conflict Between the Manatees and the Dinobots."
Dr. Fangsworth: Thank you Sheila.
Sheila: Welcome Dr. Fangsworth, how do you think the dinobots deal with this new threat?
Dr. Fangsworth: well, assuming the sea lions are a threat at all, I expect they're investigating the properties of "toxic algae" which increase an animals warrior nature. as animals combined with technology, if they can understand and master this new science, they should have no problem overcoming the sea lions
Sheila: You said "assuming the sea lions are a threat," do you think these outbursts might just be random, unconnected to the war?
Dr. Fangsworth: They could be. There is no evidence that the manatees and sea lions are actually working together. Any alliance they may have formed has not had time to solidify, and trust between the two will be on rocky ground, if you'll pardon the saying, for a significant amount of time.
Sheila: But if they were allies...
Dr. Fangsworth: Admittedly, the Sea Lions are smarter than the manatees, and would therefore be a more formidable opponent. However, because of their intelligence, the dinobots will better be able to negotiate a possible alliance or at least neutrality agreement with the sea lions. The sea lions may be pursuaded to see that the entire "forced reprisal," as the Dinobots call it, was the result of an unfortunate accident and only continues because of the manatees foolish adherence to the "principle of the matter."
Sheila: [sounding incredulous] So you think the sea lions could actually be potential allies for the Dinobots?
Dr. Fangsworth: It's a definite possibility. On the other hand, sea lions are well-known practical jokers and the dinobots, being highly logical and rational creatures, may find it difficult to rely on the sea lions for anything important. If you agree with a sea lion that he will bring in a company of troops for rear support, he is just as likely to show up with a rubber ball and caper about for a laugh.
Sheila: I see.
Dr. Fangsworth: also, the fact must be faced that dinobots know very little about the customs and habits of sea creatures, having hardly noticed their existance before the beginning of this little trifle/this epic war. Though their scientists and cultural anthropologists are hard at work, the war makes it difficult to make accurate observations. It is unclear how much loyalty the Sea Lions will show to the Manatees simply because of their genetic relationship and shared environment
Has the shared environment led to shared experiences? Are there analogous aspects of living in the cold pacific and warm shallow estuaries of Florida that the dinobots are unable to grasp? are there perhaps ancient traditions going back to a society of common ancestors that the two sea mammals could recognize in each other, despite their erstwhile divergences?
Or perhaps those subtle differences, (perceivable at all to dinobots?) could cause a theological chasm between the two groups, could be edged into a sort of religious war over which seaweed is to be served at the feast of tide changing?
Sheila: That sounds fascinating, Dr., but we're almost out of time, any closing thoughts?
Dr. Fangsworth: well, Sheila the recent sea lion attacks are certainly an interesting problem for the dinobots. No dinobots have been targeted in the attacks, and we humans aren't the dinobots' official allies, so it's expected that the dinobots will not take any immediate action. However, they'll certainly want to keep a close eye on the sea lions, watching carefully for further developments. Wouldn't want another Pearl Harbor...
Sheila: [polite but uncomfortable laughter] Certainly not Dr. Fangsworth. Thank you for being on the show. With the latest update on the conflict between the dinobots and the manatees, that was Dr. Fangsworth. I'm Sheila McWatson, and this has been 15 Minute Focus [flash graphic, fade to black]